


novacane

by koriyan



Series: Songfics [7]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-05
Updated: 2016-08-05
Packaged: 2018-07-29 12:17:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 817
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7684231
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/koriyan/pseuds/koriyan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>wow ok this sucks??</p><p>tony cheats on reader while shes away with her siblngs amd parents, this is sorta flash backs nd his current state i guess?</p>
            </blockquote>





	novacane

**_I think I started somethin'_ **

**_I got what I wanted_ ** **_  
_ ** **_Did-didn't I can't feel nothin'_ **

**_Superhuman_ ** **_  
_ ** **_Even when I'm fuckin'_ **

**_Viagra poppin'_ **

 

She’d done just as I told her; leave and never come back. Grabbed her stuff, walked straight out. I can't help but want her back. But instead of trying to get her back, here I sit, drinking Hennessy on a broken couch. I decided to surround myself with now broken furniture - it happened after I sent her away. Blinds closed, not even a speck of light to be found.

“Sir?”

“Not now.”

 

**_Every single record_ **

**_Autotunin'_ ** **_  
_ ** **_Zero emotion_ **

**_muted emotion_ **

**_Pitch corrected, computed emotion_ ** ****_  
_ **_I blame it on the model broad with the Hollywood smile_ ** **_  
_ ** ****_Stripper booty and a rack like wow_

**_Brain like Berkeley_ **

 

I met her through Sam. Her (h/c) hair flowing past her (s/c) shoulders, her beautiful (e/c) eyes. They were like stars. What wasn't there to like about her? She was kind and brought everyone's spirits up. (Y/n).  _ My _ (Y/n).

_ You don't have the right to call her that anymore. _

**_  
_ ** **_Met her at Coachella_ **

**_I went to see Jigga, she went to see Z Trip_ **

**_Perfect_ ** **_  
_ ** **_I took a seat on the ice cold lawn, she handed me a ice blue bong_ **

**_Whatever_ **

 

When Sam learned of our relationship, he threatened me, but it wasn't unexpected. He's like a brother to her. He kept up with that threat, too. Wilson literally tried to  _ kill _ me when (Y/n) told him. Sounded about right. I wasn't the best boyfriend, flirting with other women.

 

I can imagine her telling him now, sobbing over the phone. “Sam… T-Tony cheated on me.” She’d continue crying, him trying to soothe her while driving to her apartment. Then coming to beat my ass.

 

_ I regret it. _

****_  
_ **_She said she wanna be a dentist really badly, she's in school payin'_ ** **_  
_ ** ****_For tuition doin' porn in the Valley_

**_At least she workin'_ ** ****_  
_ **_But girl I can't feel my face, what are we smokin' anyway?_ ** ****_  
_ **_She said don't let the high go to waste, but can you taste a little taste of_ ** ****_  
  
_

What had I done to mess it up? Cheated while she was on a family trip. It was some girl from a party I had thrown while she was away. Although I was drunk, I knew damn well what I was doing. (Y/n) had came back the next day to find the girl in bed next to me… under me. ****_  
_ ****_  
_ **_Novocaine, baby, baby, Novocaine, baby, I want you_ ** ****_  
_ **_Fuck me good, fuck me long, fuck me numb_ ** ****_  
_ **_Love me now, when I'm gone, love me none_ ** **_  
_ ** ****_Love me none, love me none_

**_Numb, numb, numb, numb_ ** ****_  
  
_

Why’d I do it? I couldn't wait until she came back. I was frustrated - needed release. Of course, I had to do something as stupid as this.  _ “To be a genius, you don't use common fucking sense,” _ as she said.

 

The last words I said to her were along the lines of, “If you have such a god damn problem, get the fuck out! And don't fucking come back.”

 

That's when I realized - two days later - I still had feelings for her. I’d tried calling her, and she didn't answer. Not much of a surprise. She decided she'd talk to anyone but me. ****_  
_ **_  
_ ** ****_Sink full of dishes pacin' in the kitchen_

**_Cocaine for breakfast_ **

**_Yikes_ ** **_  
_ ** **_Bed full of women, flip on a tripod, little red light on shootin'_ **

**_I'm feelin' like Stanley Kubrick_ **

**_This is some visionary shit_ **

 

It wouldn't surprise me if I never seen her again. Even in my own damn tower, she still ignores me. Comes to see Sam, Steve, Natasha, and sometimes even Bruce. Basically everyone on the whole damn team, somehow managing to avoid me. Hell, even s

Sam avoids talking to me, if he can help it.

****_  
_ **_Been tryna film pleasure with my eyes wide shut but it keeps on movin'_ ** ****_  
_ **_I blame it on the model broad with the Hollywood smile_ ** **_  
_ ** ****_Stripper booty with the rack like wow_

 

Now, I stay in bed later. Every second, dedicated to thinking about her. Thinking of ways to apologize after she declines the last apology. Thinking of how she could be right beside me. If I hadn't fucked up that one time, she would still be here.

 

**_I'll never forget ya_ ** ****_  
_ **_You put me on a feelin' I never had, never had, never had_ ** ****_  
_ **_And ever since I've been tryna get it back, pick it up and put it back_ ** ****_  
_ **_Now I'm somethin' like the chemist on campus_ ** **_  
_ ** ****_But there's no drug around, quite like what I found in you_

 

But everytime I close my eyes, hers are imprinted on the inside of my lids.

****_  
_ **_I still can't feel my face, what am I smokin' anyway?_ ** **_  
_ ** ****_She said don't let the high go to waste but can you taste a little taste_

**Author's Note:**

> feed back?  
> i just feel like this is terrible


End file.
